The Tale Spinner


Vol. XXIII, No. 10

March 11, 2017


IN THIS ISSUE:

  • This Heroic Story is about a golfer's distracting foolishness
  • Barbara Wear has some insightful thoughts
  • Don Henderson sends an article about things made in Canada
  • Irene Harvalias forwards a story about a raffle on a horse
  • Burke Dyke shares a tale about the Buddha
  • Marilyn Magid's story is about a wily grandmother
  • Sites are suggested by Tom Telfer, Tom Williamson, and Zvonko Springer

From HeroicStories, Chris Wilson from Los Gatos, California, writes about

THE COURAGE OF FOOLISHNESS

Our family moved from Scotland to Virginia when I was seven years old. My father is an avid golfer, so one day shortly after our arrival we went to the driving range. While he was busy hitting golf balls, I was busy exploring the area like any normal seven-year-old.

At one point, I ventured into a patch of long grass. It was a little scary, since the grass was almost as tall as I was and there were prickly weeds around that I was carefully trying to avoid.

All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain I was not familiar with. I was afraid to rush out of the grass, and the whole scariness of the 
situation made me start crying at the top of my lungs.

My parents rushed over to see what the problem was. They extracted me from the long grass and discovered that I had been stung by a bee! This was the first bee sting I ever received. They tried to calm me down and explain that everything was going to be okay, but I was completely inconsolable and continued to bawl at the top of my lungs.

Needless to say, a desperately-crying child is not the most conducive thing to hitting golf balls.

While this was going on, I happened to be watching one man on the range. He took a swing, and after hitting the ball, his club "accidentally" slipped out of his hand and flew about 50 yards down the range. I thought this was about the funniest thing I had ever seen and immediately started to laugh.

Having your club fly out of your hands is about as embarrassing a thing as could happen to someone at a driving range. The man turned around and apologetically asked everyone if they would please stop hitting balls so he could go out and retrieve his club. It took a couple of minutes to get everyone to stop. He handled the situation with humor, humility, and grace.

After everyone had stopped, he ran out onto the range, retrieved the errant club, and ran back, holding it over his head. I watched the whole thing in great amusement. After everyone had started to hit balls again, I had forgotten about the bee sting and had stopped crying.

I didn't realize it at the time, but it seems obvious now that he had let his club go deliberately, to try to get me to stop crying. I am also quite sure that everyone on that range was happy that he had done so.

I have since learned to play golf and have been to driving ranges many times. I now understand the courage it took for that man to throw his club into the range. His gracious way of handling the situation spared others from potentially doing something ungracious to calm me down. He risked making a fool of himself but chose to act anyway.

ED. NOTE: To comment on this story, or to tell a story of your own, or to subscribe to this site,  click on

http://www.HeroicStories.org.

Barbara Wear forwards these insights:

I WAS THINKING

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient. 

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.

My 60-year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 175 pounds I've gained since then.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us." If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you!" is all I need ... not all this, "How did you get into my house?" business!

The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I'm pretty sure she's going to get me something.

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."

I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos. 

Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara, and of course, Opie, were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk. (Ed. note: For those of you who are clueless like me, Mayberry is a fictitious community that was the setting for two popular American television sitcoms, The Andy Griffith Show and Mayberry R.F.D.)

Joy of getting older: If I do something stupid, I won't remember long enough to stay embarrassed.

Don Henderson writes

YEAH FOR CANADA!

There are very good things we have done, but let's look at what our government and big business have given away since 1987.

How many factory jobs lost? Probably two or three million.

How many forestry jobs lost because of Yankee protectionism? 300,000.

How many farm jobs, because our governments will not protect our farmers' crops? Look at Smuckers: came in, bought  Bicks' Pickles, Catelli, and some other companies; closed them up and moved 100% of production to the U.S. Perhaps 50,000 jobs.

Hershey Chocolate closed all Canadian factories and moved them to Mexico and the U.S. And there are many many more.

Compared to those figures, these are a drop in the bucket.

Some interesting facts.:

1. Did You Know Most of the World's French Fries Come from New Brunswick? New Brunswick-based McCain Foods makes one-third of all the frozen French fries produced in the world, and many come from a $65-million state-of-the art potato processing plant that's in Florenceville-Bristol. The small town in western New Brunswick has taken on the moniker "The French Fry Capital of the World." Not surprisingly, this is the location of the Potato World museum, and the heart of the mid-July National French Fry Day celebrations.

2. Did You Know Carleton Place Makes the World's Best Baseball Bats? In 2012, more than 100 Major League Baseball players chose to swing Canadian maple wood bats - better known as the "Sam Bat." Sam Holman, founder of the The Original Maple Bat Corporation, invented the bat by choosing maple wood, a harder wood than the traditionally used ash. So if you see a professional player with a little logo on their baseball bat, that's one of the 18,000 sluggers produced each year in Carleton Place, a half-hour from Ottawa.

3. Did You Know Saskatchewan Makes Most of the World's Lentils? Mmmm, lentils! Whether home or travelling abroad, order some lentil soup and odds are you're getting a little taste of home. Canada is the largest exporter of green lentils in the world - about 1.5 million metric tonnes annually, with 95% of it coming from Saskatchewan.

4. Did You Know Scarborough Makes Most of the World's Halls? If you pick up a pack of Halls, you'll be getting another little taste of home since they are made in Scarborough, Ontario. The plant at Bertrand produced more than six billion pieces of "medicine" for the U.S. Last year – enough that if you lined them side-by-side they would circle the earth at the equator approximately 3.4 times.

5. Did You Know Winnipeg Mints Coins for Over 60 Countries? Canada produces currency for more countries than you can imagine! The Royal Winnipeg Mint produces coins for 60 different countries, including Centavos for Cuba, kroner for Norway, and pesos for Colombia. Currently the mint can produce over 20 million coins a day.

6. Did You Know Hamilton Makes the World's Swedish Fish? Those chewy Swedish Fish sure weren't made in Sweden! More than five billion of the colourful little candies are produced in Hamilton, Ontario, every year – that's all of the Swedish Fish consumed in North America. Every day about 13 million of the little fish are produced at a factory in Hamilton, which also makes all Maynards Candy for Canada, and key brands for the U.S., including Sour Patch Kids.

7. Did You Know Toronto Makes the World's Best Racing Bikes? Using the same tools and techniques as Formula One teams, Toronto-based Cervélo builds what have been called the world's fastest and lightest bikes. At the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, athletes riding Cervélo bikes won 10 medals, while in 2008, Carl OS Sastre rode a Cervélo bike to win Le Tour de France.

8. Did you Know Winnipeg Makes Most of the World's Scratch Cards? Walk into almost any corner store in the world for an instant-win lottery ticket, and there's a good chance your scratch card was printed by Winnipeg company Pollard Banknote. Founded in 1907, Pollard now has facilities throughout North America. However, a significant amount of its lottery scratch cards are still made in Canada.

9. Did You Know the World's Best Cymbals come from New Brunswick ? Where do the cymbals used by Rush, Keith Harris of the Black Eyed Peas, the Philadelphia Orchestra, and marching bands around the world come from? The small village of Meductic (population 300), located along the Saint John River in southern New Brunswick. Sabian cymbals are sold in 120 countries around the world.

10. Did You Know Trenton Makes Tons of Dinos? No, they don't make dinosaurs like in Jurassic Park, but close. Research Casting International, the leading company for constructing dinosaur remains (casting, restoring, mounting, repairing), is located in a 45,000-sq-ft. airplane-hanger-sized building in Trenton, Ontario. The company has created more than 750 of the mighty beasts for museums around the world.

11. Did You Know Kelowna Makes Most of the World's Water Slides? When you slip down one of those clear tube water slides on a Disney Cruise, you're likely using Canadian design and technology. Canada's Whitewater West Industries Ltd. Is the largest water parks attraction company in the world. Their Kelowna, B.C., Facility, FormaShape, makes thousands of water slides each year.

12. Did You Know Peterborough is the Custom Aircraft Capital of Canada? Flying Colours Corps. of Peterborough, Ontario, doesn't make airplanes, but they sure make them special. Entertainment systems, corporate logos, iPad-holders, custom exterior paint, upholstery, and they've even added a permanent bed in an aft cabin. Everything is custom made in-house, from the leather seats and wood trim to the side walls – for customers from across the globe, including much of Europe, the Middle East, Russia, Asia, and India.

13. Did you know B.C. Makes Tons of Submarines? Atlantis Submarines, of British Columbia, actually owns more submarines than many countries – but these ones are used for tourism. The Canadian company initiated the world's first commercial tourist submarine in the Cayman Islands in 1986. More than 10 million people have since experienced underwater adventures in their 48- and 64-passenger submarines in the Caribbean and Pacific. The subs they operate in Barbados, the Cayman Islands, Aruba, St. Martin, Cozumel, Curacao, and Guam were all made in Canada. 

ED. NOTE: These claims may be outdated, and some of these firms may already belong to other nations. Canada has an unfortunate habit of selling some of our best companies and much of our resources to other countries. Look at all the oil that some people are determined to ship through our ports - it belongs to other countries' companies, like Kinder Morgan and the Koch brothers.

 

HERE'S A GREAT IDEA

In France, it is illegal for grocery stores to throw away edible food. Stores must donate edible, unused food to charity or facilities that process it into animal feed or compost. 

 

Irene Harvalias sends this story about

THE HORSE RAFFLE

A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald's house and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The horse died."

Donald replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Donald said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Donald said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"

Donald said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month Later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"

Donald said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Donald said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back."

Donald has since moved to the White House.

Burke Dykes shares this story about Buddha:

PUT YOUR MIND AT EASE

One day, Buddha was walking from one town to another with a few of his followers.

While they were travelling, they happened to pass by a lake. They stopped to rest there, and Buddha asked one of his disciples to get him some water from the lake.

A disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed some people were washing clothes in the water and, right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in the lake is very muddy. I don't think it is suitable to drink."

After a while, Buddha again asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water.

The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time he found that the mud had settled down and the water was clean, so he collected some in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, then looked up at the disciple and said, "See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own. It is also the same with your mind. When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time, and it will settle down on its own."

Author Unknown

Marilyn Magid forwards this joke about

PRESCRIPTIONS

A doctor who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.   "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?"

"Yes, they help me sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!"

She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old granddaughter drinks. And believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night."

You gotta love grandmas!

HERE'S ANOTHER GOOD IDEA

Seattle is planning to build a new city park filled with hundreds of edible plants, such as fruit trees, vegetable plants, herbs, etc.. which will be free to everyone. If successful, it will be the first "urban food forest" of the nation.

SUGGESTED SITES

Tom Teller forwards this link to a game show in which Joe Lycett describes how he got out of a parking fine:

http://tinyurl.com/jordwsm


Tom also forwards the URL for a video that shows why e-mail was invented:

http://tinyurl.com/hyktvba


Tom Williamson sends the URL for a video from Australia of the world's longest truck train:

http://tinyurl.com/z6aau23


Zvonko Springer recommends this site for a movie of some of the wonders of the world:

http://tinyurl.com/glwkkx2


Zvonko also sends another movie in the same series, which shows more animals and wildlife:

http://tinyurl.com/h73nqv4


In this talk, Dr. Garth Davis maintains that the cure for obesity is prevention, not surgery:

http://tinyurl.com/j9xbs9p


Jude Kelly, founder of the Women of the World festival, talks candidly about why, if we want to take gender equality seriously, men need to be part of the process:

http://tinyurl.com/zojcwgm


The people of Kangiqsujuaq in Canada go to great lengths to add variety to their diet of seal meat, venturing under the sea ice during the extreme low tides of the spring equinox to gather mussels:

http://tinyurl.com/hz6jwgn


In this short video, Universe Today publisher investigates the riddle of the Fermi Paradox: if the universe is big and old, and there are countless habitable worlds, why do we see no evidence of life? Where are all the aliens?

http://tinyurl.com/jbvwz53


 

"No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire."

- L. Frank Baum

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Hangman


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